GED M. (Platform Theatre Manager) sits in the theatre auditorium, tapping away at a laptop trying to come up with a creative way of writing a blog post (on the advice of COLIN B. (CSM’s Web Manager) as a swarm of activity takes place around him: the theatre creatives and technicians are desperately trying to find enough sand to fill the stage for tomorrow night’s opening performance of Medea. Actors pace the stage in red robes and pseudo-fascist uniforms.

SOUND: A cacophonous din of hammering, shouting, clanging and banging, swearing and vocal warm ups (and keyboard tapping).

GED: Greetings, dear reader…

[COLIN, somewhere in the Blogosphere, interrupts him. GED looks around at the air, mildly terrified.]

COLIN: [VOICE OVER, echo] Dear God! Don’t start off like that. Don’t say anything remotely like that!

GED: [Hesitant] Ok-ay. ‘Hi everyone…’

[He pauses waiting for a negative reaction that doesn’t come. Satisfied at the appropriateness of his salutation, he continues.]

GED: Welcome to the awesome Platform Theatre. It’s pretty damn awesome…

[DEREK BOND (Director of Medea) stops directing for a second, glances over his shoulder at GED and scrunches his face in disapproval.]

DEREK: Um… any chance you could do that somewhere else, it’s putting me off. Plus you need to expand your vocabulary immediately.

GED: I’m just trying to drum up some interest in our theatre. A Fine Art student I spoke to yesterday didn’t even know we had a theatre!

DEREK: [Cutting him off] Yes, yes. All very well and good but can you do it elsewhere and quietly. [Beat]. And better. [He gets stuck back in to some directing and ignores GED from this point onward.]

[GED, looking forlorn spots AMIE S. (Platform Theatre Production Manager) bounding across the auditorium, holding a cordless drill in each hand like a gunslinger, vaulting over rows of seats with intent. GED tries to catch her eye and gain some support.]

GED: Amie. [Louder] Amie! It’s alright if I sit here and write about the new/

AMIE: [Cutting him off]. No time to talk.

[She charges right passed him backstage and shouts over her shoulder.]

AMIE: And no you can’t, you’re in the way. We’re busy!

[Pause]

GED: Oh.

[The scene of intense and hurried productivity continues around GED, as he sits feeling out of place and contemplating he skills as a blogger. He considers nipping out to the Airstream in the Street for a cup of tea but then remembers that the machine is broken].

GED: Dang.

END OF EPISODE.

Find out more about the Platform Theatre